Children are Capable
So, Ralph is 8 years old. When spring came, most of the boys didn't come to school when it was time to plant. So school let out 3 weeks early. One of Ralph's neighbors offered him a job. He was to take the cows to pasture and then bring them back at the end of the day. He was to ride a horse (bare-back) and keep the cows out of the neighbors' crops as there were no fences. He would work from 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and would be paid $.25/day. Ralph was so proud to be able to work like a man and to help support the family.
WHAT?? This is an 8 year old boy. He grew up in the city. No training, no company, supervision, no SADDLE? Ralph's parents didn't even flinch. It was hard for him at first, and he didn't do a very good job the first couple of days, but he got the hang of it. His sister would come at noon to bring him lunch and to watch the cows while he ate.
I'm thinking, "I have an 8 year old boy. And I couldn't' trust him for 1 hour ALONE in my house, let alone 11 hours being responsible for someone's livestock while riding a horse bareback!" Why is that? I think it's because back then, and especially on a farm, the children were expected to work. Not just to help out, but also it was essential to their livelihood that they learned necessary SKILLS. Having such skills made them much more capable people at a very young age. What skills are we teaching our kids? Go to school, do homework, clean out the dishwasher, then... play. So my boy is learning to do housework. Hmmm.
It just makes me wonder what he could be capable of if we lived in a different place and time. Is it possible that my 8 year old boy could be capable of holding a job (and enjoying it) and feel pride in doing his part to help the family? Is our convenient life helping us, or is it limiting us? This story taught me that children have a potential to be much more capable than I give them credit for. It makes me wonder how our lives would be different if we were given different opportunities.
4 comments:
I wish I knew how to teach my kids that kind of independence and hard-work ethic, minus the farm work, but how? If you have any great ideas (because I get all my best ideas from you lately:) ), let me know!
I really don't know. I was hoping that someone else had some great idea. We live on tiny pieces of property that take little to no maintainance. We hire handymen to do our repairs for us (because we can), so a generation later, he HAVE to hire handymen cuz we have no clue how to do it ourselves, and we have child labor laws that prohibit our children from learning from somone else till they are too old to be humble and teachable (or even interested) anymore. Children are so eager to help and learn when they are young. By the time they are 16 they don't care about much other than their friends and have no work ethic or interest in developing one.
It's funny how all these laws that society has given us to "protect" us has, over time, actually weakened us as a people - including our character. I don't know what the answer is. Ideas??
Good question. Responsibility brings confindence when it is successful fulfilled.
What kind of manly responsiblities are there to be in charge of around the house? And what kind of immediate rewards can come from doing it? (Money, treats, etc?)
I had an interesting discussion with Selena about how men need to feel manly. If they don't feel that way doing "normal" things, then they may look in other directions to feel that way. She talked about giving men and boys the opportunities to feel like the hero or to let them be in charge of the manly chores around the house.
It is such an important part of a boy's development into manhood. Our society doesn't provide that anymore. I guess that means that Dads better get busy and teach their boys how to be men!
Wow. That's really something to think about. Most days I looooong to live on a farm where my boys could "learn to work". But would I really expect THAT much out of them? I don't think I could handle the whining and complaining that would accompany the new work load for the first year or two until they got use to it. Kimi was just telling me that my Dad, at age 10, had to lift those big milk cans (full) up over the ledge of the cooler box. My ten year old can barely cary two jugs of milk, one in each hand. I don't think I could lift a full milk can. We are such babies now days, aren't we? And the sad thing is that we complain more than ever in the history of the world, I'll bet.
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